Thursday, 27 May 2010

To work or not work?

There comes a time for most people, well I say most, really I can only speak for myself, I've faced this problem several times - when you have to decide whether to take a side step or even a back step on a career path in order to move forward. This is the situation I face right now, no money, no job on the horizon, I signed at a recruitment agency yesterday. I could point out at this juncture that nowadays in the light of the economic downturn it is a common peril for graduates and struggling creatives everywhere. Selling out to the capital sector is the least of my worries, playing CV roulette, moving further away from the industry you want to be in is scary. It all adds to the fear of being trapped, the fear of not being taken seriously, the fear of being pushed into one direction and not being able to get back. You take a long deep breath and repeat this will help me move forward, this is taking me closer to my dream, this is the sensible choice. After signing on for over a year I feel I have no other choice, for the time being anyho.

I guess it helps to have a battle plan, a structure, a goal, with that in sight I need money to fund my adventures. I pray that I end up in a decent office, with a least one good person around me, someone on my wavelength, these places can be unfriendly to people like me, they sense I don't belong, the know I find the work dull and tedious.

The last job I undertook was for a few months in the build up to Christmas, I was 'between jobs' (skint and had enough of interning), I worked with two other secretaries, there wasn't a great deal of work and the department was restructuring, the induction was rubbish and I sat around waiting to be told what to do. We were trapped in the corner of an already empty office, surrounded by hot desks, it was grim. It was around the time of the crash, in the peak of the recession, people were being laid off left right and centre and there was me, temping. One secretary took a shine to me and we would put the world to rights over a cup of tea. However like all good tales there was a villain and that took the rather rounded shape of a secretary not dissimilar aesthetically or vocally to the late great Jade Goody R.I.P. She was young, modest in intellect and wasn't too happy about the potential threat to her attention levels. Bids for attention had two main threads (along with several splinter subjects, all essential and thoroughly important) ordering clothes from Next Directory, receiving such items, discussing fit and function at great length, the delay on the nest delivery and so on. And second to none 'her Kevin' that's 'my Kevin' to you, an older, rather unattractive and slightly problematic boyfriend, when I say problematic I mean co-dependent. 'My Kevin is gonna cook me sausage and mash for tea, My Kevin has just canceled he's out boozing with his mates, My Kevin wants me to pick him up but he's drunk, I best do it if I want to stay at his tonight, I have to see him everyday'. Listening to her was painful, smiling and nodding when I just wanted to ram the size 14 boob tube down her neck complete with tags and plastic wrapping.

Fortunately for me, Miss Goody understood I was a threat to the precarious equilibrium that surrounded her and beat me to it. Her divisive paws sunk into my role, it was a slow death, clumsily orchestrated. she became pally with the new team leader and whispered daily in her ear about the lack of work, the need to lighten the team, the whole episode lasted a few weeks, I watched as her venom worked it's magic... Being laid off just before Christmas is pretty weak yet upon reflection she actually did me a massive favor it was possibly the worst most tedious job I have ever encountered. As a consequence I immediately signed on the dole and started working at Dazed & Confused. I can only hope my new role will be as destructive with positive productive after tones.